Things are going about as fine as they can be, all considered.
It’s been a few months since I posted an update, so I wanted to let people know where things are right now.
Dormouse is still in Texas with their father, and I am still in Sweden with the pets. I was able to visit them last month, and had a lovely time. We went to a local tea house and met some very nice people and had a wonderful conversation. It’s interesting, though – it didn’t feel like coming home, but more like I was visiting a place I’d been before. It reminded me a bit of going back to California to visit family: this was my home, but it isn’t anymore and hasn’t been for a long time.
Sweden was lovely this summer. Autumn is also beautiful, in a different way. I haven’t taken as many photos or been out and about as much as I’d like, but I’ve been dealing with chronic fatigue, which has been frustrating.
I’ve been really concerned about my time and presence on social media. I’m stuck between wanting to keep up with my friends and family overseas, but the idea of being a bit of data in an every-growing AI-influenced space scares and disgusts the hell out of me. I’ve been making efforts to reduce my time online, which I think has improved my mental health.
I started journaling again, for the first time in more than a decade. I’ve wanted to do this for a while, but I was self-conscious and stuck on what I should write. It became easier when I made a list of rules for the book at the beginning:
Rules to Drop:
- It doesn’t need to be perfect. The layout can be messy. The ideas can be pointless
- Don’t worry about whether or not re-reading this will be embarrassing. It might be, and that’s okay.
- Don’t write like this is a social media post
- This does not have to be anything more than a way to write more
Rules to Develop:
- Make an entry every day
- Be honest. This isn’t for anybody else to read
- Feel free to cross out ideas as you go. Sometimes writing it out will make it easier to process, or give different perspectives
- Let this be its own thing, and exist in its own space
- Bring it with you. Bring it everywhere
I’m currently on page 217, and barring a few days while I was visiting Dormouse, I have written at least one page a day. I will be starting a new journal at the beginning of November, and will be continuing this for as long as I can. Sweden doesn’t have therapy the same way the US has, so this has been a nice way of working out ideas and escaping circular thinking I experience thanks to my depression and anxiety.
I’ve also been reading a lot recently. I’ve been keeping track of the books I’ve read this year, and I’m currently at 39. This is nearly double what I read last time I tracked my reading back in 2022, when I read 21 books. I’m hoping I can average it out to a book a week by the end of the year. Hopefully I’ll remember to post a review of some sort of what I’ve read this year.
I’m in the process of finding a new place to live, which is its own challenge here. The property this cabin is on is being sold, so I’m looking for an apartment, hopefully in or around Lund or Malmö. The plan was to buy a house as soon as we could, but until we know what Migration says about Dormouse, I need to rent a place.
And that’s where I’m at these days.
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